discomposer | golden peacock inbox

[And now he needs another second, to consider all... that.]

So, if you watched us together, you'd want to compose a song about us?

[...]

That doesn't sound so bad. It might be embarrassing, but this whole thing is embarrassing. And we've done even sappier things here than have people write songs about us.

[Like getting fake-married during the Hearts game, for example. Cough.]

I don't think any of us have kept things completely separate. We've all performed as idols here, we've all been using our real names. Rinne-senpai even performed at that House Finch place, while the audience members stuck their hands down their pants. That's what he told me.

And well, you might not like hearing this, but that character I came up with would actually *love* to hear your song about him and Jun-kun.

[ He honestly expected a worse reaction to his weird audio-based kinks because ofc Leo has found a way to make Everything about music. ]

i'd wanna compose something and i'd want you guys to perform things i wrote.

i wanna hear pieces i wrote in every context!!

you two are actually the only two people here who could do that for me, y'know.

and you'd have to talk to me.
honestly "watching" matters way less to me than "listening".

if i watched something happen with no audio what would even be the point??

[It's a fair worry, since Hiyori is not above kinkshaming! He even got attacked recently for kinkshaming someone (sort of). He told Aak he doesn't sleep with animals and that it'd make him want to hurl, and one of Aak's friends attacked him with magic in retaliation!

But he isn't thinking about this as a "kink." For Leo-kun, composing music is like breathing, right? Without air and music, he can't live!]

Well, we weren't going to tell people to put in earplugs.

When you say you'd want to compose something, you mean an actual song, right? You're not going to write some tawdry script for us, or instruct us on how to talk during the act, are you?

[ Hiyori has the right read. It's somewhere more along the lines of how Leo interacted with anything. He paused to think about the question, curious. ]

? it'd be a song. you both have the breath control for it unless you've totally been slacking.

there might be other people here who can sing, but it's not the same thing. i know every song you and nami have sung as the war era fine, as eve, as eden, in shuffle units. some of those i penned myself as leo tsukinaga or one of my aliases, even.

you usually object to my titles so i guess i could hand em over blank for you to fix up!

as to instructing, i guess if i talked it'd be things like pointing out if you missed notes or the movement speeds of the piece or probably rambling about how things sound or what i wanna write or what i hear. it's not like i'm a conductor - of the three of us, you're the bossiest unless i'm pretending to be a king again and i hate doing that.

Right, an actual song!

Then that's perfectly alright. I was just concerned because you almost made it sound like you wanted us to sing *during* it. That'd be rather difficult, and my voice wouldn't sound right, so I'll pass.

But I don't think Jun-kun would object if you wanted to write a duet for us. Now that Rinne-senpai's gone, our shuffle unit is done for. So it's either we sing as partners, or we don't sing.

Unless you wanted to write something for the three of us. We're used to those arrangements too, since we also perform as Lilith!

that IS what i meant, though. i wanna hear stuff i wrote during. i also would write songs after. the way you guys would sound is what i'm interested in.

and it isn't that hard for me to adjust things to three voices for normal performances, don't worry about that.

[How is Jun supposed to sing during that? He likes to keep his mouth busy. And how's he supposed to sing? It'd just come out all wobbly!]

Sorry. That request sounds like a pain, so we'll pass!

[... but should he really give up at the first obstacle he encounters? What would Jun-kun think? Ergh.]

I mean, I guess I *could* try it. But it's sort of funny, isn't it? You said you didn't want to see my new persona, since that's not genuine enough for you. Even though it's *my* persona, so it's something I wrote, which reflects part of me. But if we just sound like what you're telling us to sound like, that won't tell you what we're normally like.

i don't wanna see a persona if it's a way to put in distance, because i think that would feel pretty lonely!

and you don't have to force yourself to try it. i told you sena wasn't wrong about me - that's why i told you what he said. i understand all of you best when you're on stage singing - it's the rest of the time i get lost.

Then I guess that's that!

[He should be relieved. It's hard enough to offer that sort of show to acquaintances, let alone to people he knows. He should be relieved that Leo doesn't want to see it after all.

So why does he feel relieved and disappointed...?]

That still leaves setting you up with someone! I can think of lots of people to try. For example, I don't know any princesses here, but I do know two princes. And you're a knight, so that still fits! Like a fairytale for the modern age~ 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👑⚔️💕

And I already mentioned Weiss-chan, but I forgot to mention Rise-chan! She's a fellow idol, so her voice should be good! 🎤🎶✨💖

[He thinks about leaving it at that.

But then he starts typing again, after a pause.]

You're not the only one who worries about things like that, by the way.

About crushing someone with your love, that is.

[ He hit some kind of landmine, he thinks. Leo expected more of this refusal than he didn't, though, so it doesn't bug him. Rinne hadn't been a fan of the idea of involving music either - actually, no one has been. Leo figures it's one of those ways in which he doesn't jive with other human beings; if anything he's happy enough Hiyori still seems to be treating him normally, even if he's doing that thing - ]

you always way overuse emoji when you're doing that "frivolous facade and strategy", don't you? i like music, but i also like plain interesting people. i haven't met rise? i don't think.

so you're worried about breaking nami?

[Ah. He really is sharp when you least expect it. One of those eccentric "geniuses" who infuriated and enchanted Eichi-kun back then.]

Sometimes I use them just to add color! Or because I like them. 🥰

[But that's not a denial.]

I never told you this, but I've talked a lot with the owner of the Red Cardinal. She used to be a player in the game, and she knows some stuff about how the resort works. She told me the resort runs on our energy, and that if you just sleep with the same person from home over and over, instead of being intimate with new people, it means you're likelier to disappear.

I was scared for a long time afterwards. I thought my selfish love might kill Jun-kun. I had nightmares about him turning into a statue, and I cried to him and Rinne-senpai. But when I finally told Jun-kun, he said he didn't mind my selfish love. He said he didn't think he could survive here without me, and that he wanted to keep me all to himself, too.

So, instead of throwing our love out, I thought maybe we could use it as our weapon. That's why my new persona is a "messenger of love." He's not embarrassed about being in love, and he wants to show it off to everyone.

You weren't completely wrong about what you said before, though. The reason I thought about inviting people to watch is so we can protect ourselves. It's not because I want to do this from the bottom of my heart. I'm mainly trying to protect Jun-kun.

[ He didn't end up as one of the Eccentrics officially, but Leo was on the short list and only spared because he got a different and equally terrible role as the King of Knights. He's always been weird and he's always been smart - he just usually doesn't care to share the latter. Just because he can beat Eichi or Tsukasa in a game of chess doesn't mean Leo feels like doing it. ]

well yeah, it seemed obvious to me it wasn't something you really wanted to do. that's why i said all that! you guys are actually important to me, you know? while it's not like there's a limit on what i'm willing to do to keep you safe if i have to do something, i don't want all of us to crush one another in it.

be as selfish as you want and don't throw anything away. maybe that isn't something i should say, when i really do know perfectly well how heavy love can be.

but it's not the person i broke didn't break me in turn back then. and it's not like we didn't both decide that despite all of that, we'd stick together. it's just that this time around, i don't pretend that i'm not doing the things i'm doing.

i think doing things to protect yourself, the two of you, is fine. i know that sounds stupid when we just agreed it wouldn't work for us, but aren't i at least a little bit different to you guys than everyone else? things that would work with strangers are gonna be totally different with someone who actually cares.

not like you don't have loads of friends here, but i'm the only person who's gonna be friends with you guys when all this is over.

[He reads all that text, and by the end, he's smiling.]

Thanks.

[If anything, the fact that Leo knows how heavy love can be makes it mean something more coming from him.]

It's hard to throw a stone around here without hitting someone I've talked to. But I absolutely agree with you: our relationship's still different. It's shiny and unique, and it's special just like we are! ✨

And I don't know if me and Jun-kun need to do this to keep ourselves safe. Rinne-senpai disappeared, and it wasn't for lack of partners in his case.

But I don't want any of us turning to stone if I can help it, so I'll keep trying to do everything in my power to protect us. Whether that means using other people's magic powers to our advantage, giving private shows like what I talked about, or starting a matchmaking service just for you!

[That's all any of them can do, after all. Try a bunch of things, and see if any of it helps. They're no closer to having all the answers than they were months ago. It's frustrating.]

well, i admit i probably need one. it's easy to get caught up in things. even back home, the other knights and anzu would usually handle a lot of the day to day stuff? magi kinda barged in to check on when i last did stuff off and on, too.

when i'm composing it's just impossible to think about all the other stuff! ♪

I'm surprised your suit doesn't start bothering you. Mine doesn't act up that much [because he and Jun are always doing it] but when it does, it makes me want to kill someone!

[... wait. Er. Should he really be admitting that? He just admitted so much other personal stuff that he let his guard down.]

With kindness, charm, and love, of course! That's the kind of "killing" I mean. ✨💖✨💖

Anyway, I'll start by reaching out to Rise-chan and the two princes. Rise-chan is a cute idol, and one of the princes is also cute, since he has lion ears and a tail. The other prince is sort of like Eichi-kun, though, just as a heads' up.

it does. i think it amplifies obsession, though, as well as depression.

[ PUTTING ASIDE his tendency for getting majorly depressed and suicidal being exacerbated at times by his suit - because haha no - there's another embarrassing thing that doesn't even rank in the list of them today.

He's bitched about Eichi a lot, but: ]

being like tenshi isn't really a "no".

That really doesn't sound good.

[Goodness knows Hiyori has plenty of depression to amplify now that Rinne's gone. And anger. And hatred towards the House. And concern about his relationship. And despair about his future, and—

Anyway.]

When you're depressed, you can reach out to me, okay? I can't promise to make everything better, but I've been told I'm good at "dissolving gloom." It was Jun-kun who said that, but I've heard the same from others, too. Why, I even cheered up Esikko-kun once or twice!

He's the prince who's kind of like Eichi-kun.

Which I'm thrilled to hear isn't a dealbreaker! We both know that's no accounting for taste, but he seems pretty lonely much of the time, since he doesn't know how friendship works. Kind of like Eichi-kun again!

In fact, I think this could be good for both of you, so I'll definitely add him to the list! 😊

i don't know if i can reach out. no offense to you, but even knights can't knock me out of it easily when it's just me, no amplification. but so far i've only asked people to hurt me when i get that bad, not to kill me! so it's fine!

i don't think i've met the guy before. what kind of lonely is he?

[Ahhhhhhhhhh]

That does NOT sound fine!

Listen, Leo-kun - I don't mean to scare you, but there are dangerous people here. People who kill others, drug people, torture them, and do stuff to corpses. Some of them can use magic, which makes it hard to stand up to them. If you ask someone to hurt you, they could turn out to be one of those people. So try to be careful, alright? You really shouldn't be doing that.

[Also, death isn't permanent here. But after that little admission he is not mentioning that. That might just encourage Leo to get even riskier!

And speaking of people who like to kill and torture others (unbeknownst to Hiyori)...]

The kind where he's only had shallow connections all his life, so he doesn't know what real friends are. You know, like Eichi-kun!

He's a prince, and his father was controlling, so he was stuck inside a palace. And everyone was either kissing up to him to try to improve their status, or they were trying to backstab him. Sometimes literally!

He does have connections here, but one of them turned against him. And he had something like a partner, but it sounds like they're not as close as me and Jun-kun. He gets sort of jealous when he hears about other people's partnerships. I know because our emotions were connected at one point, so I could feel what he felt.

[ ok, you have to understand that is just a tempting thought to the guy who has been nebulously flirting with his own death ever since the war and is held back bodily from it by the combined efforts of a lot of people who aren't here!!!

anyway, he's considering that. how does hiyo even plan to go about this...? ]

so his partnership is complicated? well, i don't feel like kissing anyone's ass and i don't feel like stabbing anyone. hang on, lemme think.

should i give you some song files for him?

[ "Leo are you ignoring the entire first half" yes ]

I don't like that you ignored the first part! That was actually the most important part, since it concerned your health and safety!

[Not that the second part doesn't also concern Leo's health. Because he's trying to find people for him to sleep with, and if he doesn't sleep with anyone, he'll turn to stone... and start thinking about hurting himself, apparently... ugh!]

And that's the point I was trying to make. You don't want to kiss up to him or stab him in the back, so you're probably just what he needs!

I don't think he sings, though. But he did say he didn't get to experience music much. So if you want to send him a song, then maybe that could be the start of a beautiful friendship?

[A friendship involving tons of sex, hopefully, because Hiyori really does need to solve this...!!]

you're stressing out too much!

here!

[ unison.mp4 ]

i haven't let anyone hear that one yet, it's what i was working through for my new solo back home. if he doesn't like that he probably won't like me! give it to him if you wanna

Fine, I'll pass that along and tell you what he thinks!

[And also listen to it himself. And reach out to other potential mates for Leo. At least this beats stressing out over Rinne, who he can't do anything to help at this point.]

I've been working on my solo since I got here, too, by the way. I even sang it for someone once!

why didn't you lead with that?????? hey, don't keep songs a secret from me! you can keep anything else a secret, but it's no fair to hide songs!

[ At least someone is taking charge of Leo's suit life because he pretty much sucks at that and just goes with the flow when he remembers, usually once things get bad.

...he really is an inconvenient pet ]

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